When I was in fourth grade, my class always seemed to be in a race to finish tests on time. I don’t know why, but we seemed to get some kind of thrill at being the first one finished. It was always a competition. I was not normally first, but usually not too far behind, probably in the middle somewhere most of the time.
The only reason I even remember that about the class is because of one incident that has stuck with me ever since. It was sort of a personal, eye-opening experience. My own little “aha” moment.
While I was taking a test one day, I noticed myself hurrying to get it finished, as usual. I remember it was a math test. Suddenly, I realized that my hurrying was distracting me from the actual work, and I felt very frustrated and anxious. I was so worried about finishing last, which would make me look stupid, that I kept making mistakes and needing to backtrack and do things over.
So right there, I decided to just stop racing. I forced myself to pay attention only to the numbers and not what anyone else was doing, or how much time was going by. I didn’t care if I finished last; I would not look at the clock. I would not glance around at the other students. I would see nothing other than the numbers on the paper.
I finished my test and started to get up to take my paper up to the teacher’s desk. But when I looked around, everyone else was still frantically writing and working on their tests. I saw other kids glance up, trying to see if anyone was ahead of them. I never finished first, so I thought maybe I had forgotten something. I hesitated, looked at the paper again. Everything was finished. I was pretty sure it was all accurate.
Slowly, I stood up and brought the test up to the teacher’s desk. Finally, as I sat back down, the other kids who usually finished first started to get up with their papers, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
When the tests were handed back the next day, I had gotten a 100% and the teacher had written “Good work!” at the top.
From then on, I knew how to finish first. All I had to do was slow down.
Even though you had a real bastard that fourth year of school (Mr. Crum, I despise you, wherever you are!) you learned many life lessons that year. They were the kind that take big chunks out of your soul but leave behind really strong scar tissue.
Do you know how proud of you I am?
Don’t forget Mrs. Boonie. M and I thought those two were having an affair.
Very nicely written. You were just naturally fast anyway. Somehow that does not surprise me in the least. You are a bright mind and soul, Birdpress!
Thanks, Teeni. I don’t know if I was fast about everything, but I guess I picked up a few things along the way.
What a neat thing that you were able to realize this at such a young age. Once you quit hurrying, things fall into place but normally people don’t realize this until much later in life. Good for you.
I forget it a lot though. It’s funny but sometimes I will be hurrying and remember this exact scene in my head. This happened the other day, which made me think of it, and I figured I should write it down to try to make it more of a habit to slow down when I am feeling rushed! It really helps with grooming dogs sometimes!
That must have been an exhilarating feeling, kinda like you had a new super power?
I can relate to the math race, I remember in 5th grade the teacher actually made us race on on the daily math quizzes and I absolutely hated it. I wish I had realized your strategy back then. I’m quite certain I have dyscalculia anyway, which is like dyslexia with numbers. I even went as Dyscalculia once for Halloween (think the Count from Sesame Street, only he can’t count).
That is terrible that they made you rush! I wonder if maybe we were rewarded for finishing first too and that is what started it? I don’t know, but I think teachers need to teach kids NOT to hurry. As long as you can remain focused and keep “doing” there is no reason (in most cases) to try to do it faster.
Ain’t that the truth!
Sure is!
Nice post birdpress. Well titled too. Was your teacher really Mr. Crum?
Thanks. Yes, he was!
I was the same way. There was a cute little blonde girl in my second-grade class who was either first (and I was second), or vice-versa.
The even more cooler thing was, we had this little record player thing set up on a table at the front of the class and it had headphones connected to it. I think there were four sets of headphone. So, when you finished your work, you could get up, march in front of the whole class, and go listen to the headphones.
And even though we only had one record–something about whale noises–I must have listened to that thing 100 times that year
By the way, that cute little blonde girl…yeah, she was a total bi-yotch! Later, while the teacher was out once and another teach was supposedly watching us, the class got outta hand. Honestly, I KNEW that at any moment we were gonna get busted, so I sat there quietly while the rest of the class–including the little blonde girl–threw paper and generally ran amock! Sure enough…BUSTED!
And would you believe that since she was so cute and supposedly innocent, the teacher that busted us asked her who were the main culprits and she said that it was ME!
I protested the HELL out of it, and STILL got a paddling.
It was a valuable lesson about women though…one I have never forgotten.
Ha ha! Cute story! Your lesson was probably even more valuable than mine.
That’s good advice. I recently found out I may have test anxiety. Not good, I didn’t realize this until recently, I had to take a test with other people for a job interview. The questions weren’t too bad but a little difficult and as people finished and got up I could feel the pressure of not being able to finish in time it was awful. I realize looking back in school I probably did suffer a bit from test anxiety. My husband just started back to school and they have special rules where you can take a test by yourself. I think that’s probably a good thing it’s terrible to choke when you know the answers. LOL
Oh, I can definitely relate! When you feel like you are behind, it makes it so much more difficult to focus. That is part of why I think rushing kids to finish tests is just wrong. I think teachers should really teach kids that they are not in competition with each other. It becomes a life-long habit and just sets you up for anxiety your whole life.
Wow, I teach. I wish I could teach my 5th graders this valuable lesson!!